Worldwide Server Crashes As Moderately Attractive Woman Posts Pictures of Self With Car on Fan Forum
The photo that started the cascade of server failures
Servers have crashed worldwide and thousands of automotive websites are down after a moderately attractive woman joined a car fan forum and posted pictures of her car that also showed her.
The woman, thought to be in her late 20s, describes herself as “not those most knowledgeable about cars like you boys are, but still a big fan!” Upon prodding from a fellow forum member she posted pictures of her car, in which she appeared fully clothed and only partially visible.
It was at this point, according to moderators of the originating forum, that “all fucking hell broke loose.” Members commented on how nice her car was, when in fact one forum member said “It was all stock and not even that clean. But I felt like I should say something and make a joke. Maybe she’d respond?”
Accounts on scene say that in the first hour, 481 people signed up for the forum to add their comments to the thread. By the end of the day there were 5162 new members. According to reports, the thread called “Me with my new car” is now 342 pages long.
The comments fell into general categories: the direct flirtation (I’d wash your wheels any time), those posing as giving car-related compliments (You picked a great car to buy, and a good color too. Matches your sunglasses) and the self-deprecating (You’d never go out with a guy like me but you sure are the prettiest girl with one of those cars ever).
The Center for Disease Control reports that the pictures are spreading even faster than the worst pandemics in human history. At this point it is estimated that thousands upon thousands of servers have crashed due to requests far in excess of their bandwidth capacity.
“In fairness,” computer expert Eric Malthus told MetaCars, “She’s on a brown Allegro. That’s a crown jewel of lovable brown junk cars.”
Joke’s on them… “She” is a dude.
Rumors are circulating that she’s planning on taking the Allegro to the Nurburgring, and posting videos of her attempts to set a lap under 10 minutes. FaceTube has already assembled a task force to deal with the inevitable traffic.