TENSIONS ESCALATE: AudiWorld.com Members Retain Blackwater/XE Forces; Seen as Response to Audi RS5 ‘Automatic Only’ Announcement
Members of the popular Audi fan forum AudiWorld.com have retained the services of the private security contractors Blackwater (now called XE) in response to Audi’s announcement that the new RS5 coupe will only be sold with a dual-clutch automatic transmission. (Story here)
“We won’t be bullied by Audi and its religious mission to force automatic transmissions on the world, whether they accept it or not,” said AudiWorld spokesman Harold Summer.
XE troops have worked for the U.S. government in Iraq and Afghanistan, where they were criticized for gross human rights violations and brutal treatment of prisoners. “Officially we have nothing to say about XE’s activities in the Middle East,” Summer told MetaCars. “But unofficially, we’re going to frickin’ waterboard Audi.”
AudiWorld users are similarly angry. One commenter, QUATTRObro, posted to the site “It was bad enough that we had to put up with the DSG only in the A3 3.2, and that they won’t offer a manual transmission in the Audi A8. But now I’m seriously angry. Who can hook me up with some xanax or something?”
In response, Audi told MetaCars that the issue was one of internal business. “Whether we choose to offer a manual transmission or a dual-clutch automatic or anything else is our choice and ours alone. If the bitches at AudiWorld don’t like it, we invite them to make a formal complaint or just buy a BMW already. It’s not like our cars are cheaper anymore.”
Ah, going with political flame-bait…clever move. This’ll do wonders for your pageviews.