Senate Launches Inquiry Into People Who Pull Right Up to Stick Drivers’ Bumpers on Hills
The U.S. Senate will launch an inquiry into the jerks who pull right up to the bumpers of stick shift cars in front of them on hills, according to sources within the Senate offices.
“This reckless driving has vexed manual transmission drivers for long enough. You’re on a hill. It’s possible when the light goes green, you’ll roll back an inch or two. Even the best can have this happen. The last thing you need is some d-bag in a GMC Acadia right on your ass,” said Ash Faraday, of the advocacy group People Using Stick Shifts for Years.
MetaCars spoke with a stick-shift driver in Ithaca, New York, a city renowned for its hills, universities, and soul-sucking cold. “I was just on super-steep Buffalo Street the other day and some cock in a Land Rover is like right on my bumper. Would it have killed him to leave me a few inches? I totally had to let the air out of his tires later,” the driver told us.
What is this “stick” you speak of?
yeah! I’ve been drivin’ a stick shift for years and resent being called a p.u.s.s.y.!