Mike Rowe and Howie Long Will Be First Competitors in Celebrity Mixed Martial Arts
Howie Long, seen here in a turtleneck and with a Ford billboard in the background, claims he will "Rub Mike Rowe's face in something dirty"
Tired of the nebbish image being generated by a recent series of Chevy commercials, former football player and macho actor Howie Long challenged former opera singer, QVC diamond peddler and Ford spokesman Mike Rowe to a no holds barred, mixed martial arts competition. Dubbed the battle of the Spoke Studs, only eye-gouging will be off limits.
Long, holding a press conference with war paint on his face, told MetaCars “Forget the cars… this is about who’s the manliest man selling them. So what if he gets to wear blue jeans and act like an average guy while I’m dressed like some GQ wannabe trying to convince some geek he’ll die without OnStar? It’s time for me to pull on my jock strap and show those fags who don’t drive Chevys what a real man looks like. “
Rowe was contacted at Palmer Septic Pumping and Salvage Company, where he was filming the latest episode of his popular series “Dirty Jobs.” “Yeah, he may think he’s tough, but how much poo has he ever tasted? And when he’s reminded how many cow vaginas I’ve had this arm in, he’ll think twice about wanting to arm wrestle me! Besides, I have a deeper voice and more chest hair, so he doesn’t stand a chance.”
No date or location has been announced for the confrontation.