Congressional Panel Recommends that Toyota CEO Commit Seppuku
An official Congressional panel has suggested that Toyota CEO, Akio Toyoda, to commit Japanese ritual suicide, known as seppuku.
“Seppuku is ritual self-evisceration, previously practiced only by the samurai, to preserve one’s honor in feudal Japan. But it’s becoming increasingly popular in fashion-sensitive Japan. Everyone wants to disembowel themselves with giant swords.” says professor of Old Cool Japanese Stuff Sherman Minkowski.
Among those calling for Toyoda to commit seppuku are Michele Bachmann (R-MN), who calls Toyota’s recalls “Unamerican” and adds that “As usual, the holy trifecta is to blame: liberals, gays, and liberal gays.”