The following is an interview conducted on February 30, 2010 with a buyer in an Aston Martin dealership (its location on Northern Blvd in Roslyn, NY has been withheld).
MetaCars: Thanks for sitting down with us.
Lincoln Travis III: I was already sitting. You just invited yourself to the next chair over.
MetaCars:Well it was open. More to the point, are you buying a car today?
Lincoln Travis III: Yes, a V8 Vantage convertible.
MetaCars: I think it’s called a Vantage Volante.
Lincoln Travis III: I think I could buy out your mortgage and evict you.
MetaCars:Fair point. So what swayed you on the Aston?
Lincoln Travis III: Well, I wanted something different and pretty flashy to park in front of restaurants.
MetaCars: Did you think about a Maserati?
Lincoln Travis III: Italian cars break down a lot.
MetaCars: Right … So you went British.
Lincoln Travis III: We’re 2 seconds from me removing one of your fingers with this cigar cutter.
MetaCars: So have you heard about the new Aston Martin Cygnet?
Lincoln Travis III: No. What is it? Another million dollar supercar?
MetaCars: Actually it’s based on a small Toyota city car, but styled by Aston. Here’s a picture.
Lincoln Travis III: What a faggy piece of crap.
MetaCars: The idea is that Aston buyers will buy them as a sort of yacht tender.
Lincoln Travis III: Do you know what a yacht tender actually is? Do I park my Vantage a mile off shore and then drive this little one to the sidewalk? Are you going to tell me it fits inside a bigger Aston?
MetaCars: No, it’s just a regular car, about the size of a Smart car.
Lincoln Travis III: Sounds like a deathtrap.
MetaCars: Well, Aston describes it as a local runabout.
Lincoln Travis III: I have a local runabout. A Mercedes GL450.
MetaCars: But doesn’t that use a lot of gas?
Lincoln Travis III: I have no idea. I would assume so.
MetaCars: Well in addition to that, Aston pitches the Cygnet as a sort of fun little car for your wife or maybe kids to putter around in.
Lincoln Travis III: No, I’m not putting my kids in a sardine can. I’d rather spend $40,000 on something I know they’re safe in, rather than $10,000 on that little POS.
MetaCars: As it happens, the Cygnet costs about 30,000 British Pounds.
Lincoln Travis III: You’re shitting me.For less than that, I bought my daughter a Lexus RX like a normal person.
MetaCars: Hybrid version?
Lincoln Travis III: No. I’m a Republican.
MetaCars: Well the environmental stuff is big now for people in both parties.
Lincoln Travis III: Yeah that’s what I’ve heard on the news.
MetaCars: Not for you?
Lincoln Travis III: I have 6 cars and fly twice a week for business.
MetaCars: Well, thanks for meeting with us.
Lincoln Travis III: I didn’t have a choice. How’d you manage to get in here, anyway?
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