Car Magazine to Test Exotic Sports Car on Long, Boring Road Trip
The popular magazine StreetCar will test an expensive sports car on a lengthy road trip in a future issue, according to sources within the organization.
Writers will take the expensive sports car on what they describe as an “unebelievably bland” ride between major American cities to really “open her up” on the open road. The trip is expected to include photos outside of abandoned factories, at the sole gas station in small poverty-stricken towns, and in front of glamorous hotels once they’ve returned to the comfort of large cities.
Readers anticipate that the road trip will be suspiciously light on information about the car itself, instead describing the route that the writers took, the restaurants in which they ate, and the terrified looks of barefoot children in what the magazine’s editors call “flyover states.”
In spite of concerns that the writers will report the results of 0-200mph acceleration tests in school zones, police are not expected to investigate. “It’s not like anyone actually reads the articles in the back of the magazine, anyway,” said Editor in Chief Kelvin Smith.
I heard a rumor that a popular automobile magazine is toying with the idea of publishing the actual car part of their magaziine and the tire ad, floor mat portion under separate cover. Then they can advertise , “Get 2 Car Magazines For The Price Of One”. I myself don’t believe it because it makes to much sense.
I believe they will round up the oldest editors on staff and split their time between a Ferrari 458, Audi R8 5.2, and a Lamborgotti Sexarossa.
The story will include highlights about the roads used to be emptier, gas was $0.35, and how Carter was a pussy.
Total words used for article: 25,000
Total words used to describe the cars: 300