Automotive Writer Denies “Phoning It In”
A noted motoring journalist has responded to claims his latest article, “Ten of the Most Expensive Cars You Can Buy”, amounts to a worthless pile of rehashed drivel not worth the bandwidth used to host it. The list, which includes unexpected picks such as the Bugatti Veyron, Rolls Royce Drophead Coupe and Pagani Zonda Cinque, is believed to have entailed many minutes of painstaking compilation using Google and press releases.
Writer Mark ‘Maz’ De Capella, 46, denied the article, featuring a press photograph of each car plus a range of irrelevant statistics, failed to advance the sum total of human knowledge in any way. “Where else are you going to find out that the leather in the Prombron Monaco Red Diamond Edition is made from the foreskin of a whale’s penis?” he demanded. When MetaCars pointed out this was already common knowledge, the result of a brief automotive blogosphere meme some months ago, the unacclaimed hack quickly tried to change the subject to a discussion of the relative merits of the Koenigsegg CCXR and Lamborghini Reventón Roadster.
Mr De Capella, whose own car is a 2005 Chevrolet Monte Carlo, insisted that despite having driven none of the vehicles in question, he was fully qualified to write as much as one paragraph of superficial tosh on each car. “Coming up with ten seriously expensive cars is a real challenge,” he told MetaCars. “They can’t just all be Fazzas and Rollers. I mean, you have to include Maybach in there as well.”
De Capella did not appear discouraged by criticism of his so-called style, and vowed to continue his gruelling schedule of non-existent fact-checking. “I’ve almost finished my copy for today,” he said. “It details the 50 worst cars of all time, and it’s definitely got some real surprises in it. I don’t want to spill the beans, but let’s just say I’m expecting some unhappy feedback from Morris Marina fans.”
MetaCars understands negative reaction to De Capella’s latest piece of chunder is also likely to come from people who give a shit about decent automotive journalism, a concept largely missing in action since CAR Magazine turned into GQ’s automotive section a decade or so ago. And judging by the success of Jalopnik, it doesn’t appear likely to return any time soon.
N.B. MetaCars would like to assure readers that, in stark contrast to lower-grade automotive news sites, it adheres to the strictest editorial standards. Consequently, there is no chance this article was cooked up in 15 minutes between putting the cat out and preparing supper. Not at all.
Thanks to a special contributor for this piece.
Tosh! Chunder!
Outstanding. Keep it up!