Archaeologists Find 2000 Year-Old Car Magazine! Headline: “Superchariot Compario! Germania Takes On Rome”
Archaeologists in Utah have discovered what is believed to be the oldest car magazine known, a 2000 year old volume called AVTOCHARIOT.
The issue, dated Aprillis (but carbon dating determines it to was produced in Februarius), features a cover story called “Superchariot Comparo! Germania Takes on Rome” and apparently compares several high-performance chariots of the day from different regions of Europe. There is also a fleeting reference to something from the Far Eastern Empires called the Godzilla superchariot.
Dr. Philip Leonick, the lead researcher on the team, told MetaCars “This is a really significant find. It shows just how advanced chariot magazines were, even 2000 years ago. Or how shit they are now. Gee I didn’t think of that.”
The copy of AVTOCHARIOT also includes other articles, including “Future Chariots: Chrysler PT Cruiser,” an interview with “Young up and coming chariot planner Robert Lutz,” and a report that Roman chariots would be sold in “new colonies outside the Empire as soon as next year.”